Challenge 8 – Tai Chi

Over a number of years in parks near where I’ve lived there have been mystical looking old asian men and women performing the graceful art of Tai Chi. It looks so calming, and yet contained within each movement appears great strength. Karate Kid obviously had more effect on me than what I thought, as I’m sure Mr Miyagi was a Tai Chi master. Soon you will learn, young Grasshopper.

The ancient art of Tai Chi Chuan began in 16^th century China, with the literal translation as ‘Supreme Ultimate Fist’ or simply ‘The Ultimate’. Most practitioners these days do it less as a martial art than as a form of relaxation and stress release, however even pacifists can feel a little more confident when they have an ultimate fighting fist in their pocket. Yeah!

And so to my challenge. After some internet research and a couple of phone calls I’d established the time and place. Or so I thought. I turned up to the Manly community Centre 5 minutes early and looked around. I saw a sign advertising a different Tai Chi class on Saturdays and nothing for the one I’d signed up for. I was getting the feeling that maybe it wasn’t the right place after all. I went upstairs and peeked into the only occupied room to hear a guy talking and see several people glare at me. I wasn’t getting a Tai Chi vibe at all! I went back downstairs and saw a page stuck to the open door advertising that tonight was the anger management group. Oops. Luckily no fighting fists required. I called Jenny, who was running the Tai Chi, who informed me it was down near the beach tonight and that they were only in the Community Center in the colder months. My friend Edith joined me and we wandered down to find Jenny and 6 students waiting for us. Cool!

It turns out Jenny is a Chinese Medicine practitioner and Acupuncturist who runs the Tai Chi classes as a hobby. She has been doing Tai Chi since she was 15 years old in China, which means some quality decades of practice. The wind was howling, however as she took us through the ‘cat walk’ and some of the basic ball holding movements (don’t drop the ball…perfect!) we kept warm and focused. The setting was fitting as we faced the crashing waves of Manly beach and followed Jenny’s movements. Quite a challenge when you start adding the arm movements to the ‘cat walk’ and to meet the high standards Jenny hoped from her students! We had some good laughs though as we tried to follow the graceful steps she performed. The batteries in her portable music player were dying, so when her Chinese music played there were some wonky, warbling notes, much to our amusement. Jenny was very funny, as she would alternately berate and praise her students. We did well with the praise, however I have the feeling she was being kind to us as we were new. Some of the students who have only been there a few weeks weren’t so fortunate. It should be good motivation to do well!

Jenny told us to practice the cat walk this week, so I have some homework to do. This is one I’d love to get better at, as it seems such a meditative set of movements. Another class, some more skills to learn. Maybe I should make time management my next challenge!

So, if you’re in Manly at 6:45pm on Mondays, head to the beach opposite the Pacific Hotel. Look for the ultimate graceful swan and the wobbly little ducklings trying to imitate her.

Wax on, wax off!

Challenge 7 – Warrior Dash.

Two words: Warrior Dash.

That was the email Pootman sent to me to begin the ball rolling for what turned out to be quite an epic weekend. An American concept had been bought to Australia for the first time. Encourage people to get in touch with their inner warrior and race around a bush track chock full of challenging obstacles, with the goal of having a shedload of childish (I mean, heroic) fun as you rolled in mud, waded through rivers, climbed walls and overcame barriers.

And did we have fun!

Pootman had managed to enlist the services of his friend Kristy, now forever known to me as the warrior princess. Not only did she do the driving duties for the weekend (the Glenworth Valley is 2 hours north of Sydney) but she also managed to provide most of our camping gear and drinks!

Nice one Xena.

We dressed in costume and were going to run in costume, then thought better of it. The loincloth that I had spent hours putting together during the week simply didn’t have the kind of double stitched engineering required to withstand the rigours of the course. It only had single stitch. A special mention must go to Xena here for her great attention to detail whilst applying my warpaint, as well as her willingness to get so close to my near naked body as she helped me pin my loincloth in place. ‘Getting to know you…’!

And so we donned some basic running gear, some warpaint and then went off to battle!

The race started with massive shooting flames into the air, which warmed my back nicely. I yelled out ‘it burns’ in what turned out to be a prophetic announcement. We ran quite a few kilometres to to the first obstacle. On the way I gave Pootman a piggyback-ride a short way for a laugh. Another sign of things to come!

The first barrier was just an over and under wall to get us warmed up. Then came our first real challenge – a long stretch of deep MUD. I chased Pootman valiantly for most of this muddy stretch until I finally caught him. We both went down in a bear hug wrestle, soon to be joined by Xena who came in with a splattering body slam. This mud was so thick that a considerable number of people lost their shoes to it as they tried to wade through it. Getting up was a challenge in itself!

Then into rivers, across balance beams, through a wrecked car yard after running through a series of tyres, military style. More mud. More wrestling. More river crossings. It got to the point that after you got clean from the river you were really looking forward to the mud again! My skin is glowing. And I still have mud working its way out of my ears.

And then to the final set of challenges. To roaring fire barriers and the last muddy pit. As we approached the barrier Xena spontaneously leaped onto my back. I had faith in my powerful warrior legs and immediately set off towards the wall of fire (appropriately known as the ‘Warrior Roast’), with the cheers of the crowd ringing in my ears as they realised just how awesome a spectacle of bravery they were about to witness. My momentum was good, I pushed strongly off the back leg and we sailed over the flaming wall. It was then I realised that there was more to this mighty obstacle than met the eye as several flaming logs had spread out at the base on the other side, making it wider than anticipated. As we went down the momentum rolled Xena safely clear of danger, whilst fate decided a fitting momento of the weekend (and maybe a fitting lesson) would be a branded left calf from one of the red hot and fiercely burning logs. The cheering of the crowd turned into a chorus of “ooohh’s” as they realised how fine a line there is between awesome ambition and awesome stupidity. Yes indeed, this was real fire. Bloody hot fire. And I now had a second degree burn to prove it. There was however nothing like a quick dip in the final muddy pit to soothe my new tattoo. After taking our time with some conquering warrior photos back at the campsite we eventually got around to washing off in the river.

Xena not only managed to impress the locals with her naked bathing upstream as a local elderly gentlemen was left speechless, she also managed to see Pootman and I in a Brokeback Mountain moment upon her return. Ah, the great outdoors!

We dressed up, I had my wound dressed (thanks St John’s!), and we kicked on to the afterparty for some dancing with our weaponry in the rain and to watch the guys who carried a bar fridge around the entire course take out best costume. Then we had a night of touring around all the campsites to meet people and have a great laugh about the event. I can honestly say I’ve never had my butt checked out by so many people, male and female, in my life. I wonder why loincloths went out of fashion?

There’s one thing I know for sure. Next year the waiver form is going to have a new addition:

Warriors must not take passengers across the Warrior Roast!

Challenge 6 – Applied Kinesiology

I’d known about the existence of Kinesiology for some time, ever since I studied massage years ago and knew some students who were studying it. And I always thought I had an idea about what it was, until someone asked me to explain it to them. Then I realised I didn’t have the faintest idea.

And so to ‘Echoes of Healing’ in Freshwater, where I used to massage. The owner Kimberly is an accomplished massage therapist and is now turning her considerable talents over to Applied Kinesiology. She invited me to do a series of sessions with her in exchange for some surfing lessons. Now there’s a barter system I’m most happy to encourage! Please write to me with offers for consideration.

As Kimberly explained, Applied Kinesiology was developed by a chiropractor in the 1960’s who realised there was a connection between the state of our internal organs and the strength of their specific corresponding muscles. Through testing these muscles one can determine structural, chemical and mental aspects of health and determine appropriate treatments to work with any found weaknesses or to enhance stated goals.

It is based also on Traditional Chinese Medicine and the energy that flows through our body through specific channels called meridians, or energy centres called chakras. It was easy, painless and to be honest it seemed remarkably insightful.

The testing showed I had been denying my loneliness and through a pseudo relationship that I’ve had for the last six months (with someone not ready for another dedicated relationship) developed a real despondency towards finding a loving, intimate, long term relationship with someone who was ready and available for it. Struth! I went in quite positive with a goal of looking at my future career and we ended up discovering I was probably better off looking at relationships. This session awakened that feeling of despondency in me and I was a bit down for the better part of the next two days. It did highlight to me though that maintaining a pseudo relationship that meets some of your instinct to be intimate with someone does a great job in preventing you from being ready for a real relationship with someone who could be a potential life partner. I don’t think I’ll add dealing with this pseudo-relationship down in the list of challenges, but it sure is something I’ll need to face in order to move on.

So thanks Kimberly for pointing out my denial! I did know that I had to move on, but this has highlighted it to me clearly and shown me how little energy (Kimberly measured it at 2%!) I had toward meeting a potential life partner because of it.

Interesting stuff! I’m looking forward to our next session.